As most of you know, I have been traveling quite a bit this year. I have been to Las Vegas, Mexico, Netherlands, and Paris. During this time I have learned valuable lessons. Lesson one, when things go smooth they are great, when they don't you just wait and wait and wait and wait. I have traveled by plane and have figured out that only idiots travel through Newark. I have learned that it is difficult to figure out the schedule and tracks for European trains if you do not do it frequently. By the end of the trip we were pros, but at the beginning, we had a few challenges. I have learned that sometimes paying for a shuttle or taxi may be the more expensive approach, but much of the time it will prove worth it. Just bite the bullet, fork over the cash, and relax.
And finally, I have learned that traveling with my spouse is much better than alone. No lonely dinners and quiet hotel rooms. Those were traded for romantic meals in the cafes in Paris, taking in the scenery from the top of the Eiffel Tower, enjoying a romantic river cruise in a glass boat while viewing the lights of the city, seeing the Mona Lisa... All of these are memories that as a couple, we will never forget. While the negative things can overwhelm and cloud our thinking at the time, it is then we need to pause and reflect on how good we have it.
What a great life lesson!!!
Monday, April 6, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Never Leave Your Partner - Part III
Last time we talked about smoke and the role it plays. Today, I want you to think about the partner's role in reading the smoke. Okay, I know that some of you may struggle reading a good book, much less smoke, but let me explain.
As a firefighter approaches a burning building, one of the things that they are trained to do is read the smoke. The smoke can tell them the location of the fire, size of the fire, and most importantly what the fire will do next. By reading the smoke they have a better understanding of how best to fight the fire.
Hopefully, you can already see the analogy. As a partner in this thing called marriage, we should try to become proficient at reading the smoke. In our relationships, there will be fires from time to time. How will you know? Read the smoke. What do I mean by smoke? Well, those are the reactions, harsh words or none at all, attitudes, hurt feelings and mannerisms. You see if the smoke is light in color and thin you would handle that much differently than if the smoke is dense and rolling.
Become proficient at reading your spouse's smoke. It will be valuable in keeping away the roaring inferno.
As a firefighter approaches a burning building, one of the things that they are trained to do is read the smoke. The smoke can tell them the location of the fire, size of the fire, and most importantly what the fire will do next. By reading the smoke they have a better understanding of how best to fight the fire.
Hopefully, you can already see the analogy. As a partner in this thing called marriage, we should try to become proficient at reading the smoke. In our relationships, there will be fires from time to time. How will you know? Read the smoke. What do I mean by smoke? Well, those are the reactions, harsh words or none at all, attitudes, hurt feelings and mannerisms. You see if the smoke is light in color and thin you would handle that much differently than if the smoke is dense and rolling.
Become proficient at reading your spouse's smoke. It will be valuable in keeping away the roaring inferno.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Never Leave Your Partner - Part II
Okay, I know that I promised part II and some of you have been waiting eagerly. Actually, I was out of town on business in Mexico City. Let me just say that I will never complain about the traffic again. Unbelievable!! I am sure that the first part to wear out on the cars in Mexico City is the horn.
Anyway, I will continue with part II. Based on my research, the number one cause of death related to fires is smoke inhalation. An estimated 50%-80% of fire deaths are the result of smoke inhalation injuries rather than burns. You may ask so what. Well think about it. You and your partner are called on the scene of a fire. You enter the burning building due to the fire, not the smoke, with a goal to put out the fire. Yet almost 80% of the time the fire is not the most deadly element.
So how does this relate to your marriage? I am glad you asked. Many times marriages go through very difficult times. Times that are intense with flames that seem to be hotter than you think you can stand. It is during this time that we focus on putting out the flame and forget about the deadly by-product. What we say and how we treat one another during that time is not the fire but it is the smoke. It is the smoke that will remain and cause damage and sometimes even the death of a marriage, even after the fire has been extinguished.
Encouragement: During the fires that will come, don't forget about the smoke. May our attitude and love for one another be so evident during the fire that there is no residual hurt when the fire is over.
Stay tuned for Part III....
Anyway, I will continue with part II. Based on my research, the number one cause of death related to fires is smoke inhalation. An estimated 50%-80% of fire deaths are the result of smoke inhalation injuries rather than burns. You may ask so what. Well think about it. You and your partner are called on the scene of a fire. You enter the burning building due to the fire, not the smoke, with a goal to put out the fire. Yet almost 80% of the time the fire is not the most deadly element.
So how does this relate to your marriage? I am glad you asked. Many times marriages go through very difficult times. Times that are intense with flames that seem to be hotter than you think you can stand. It is during this time that we focus on putting out the flame and forget about the deadly by-product. What we say and how we treat one another during that time is not the fire but it is the smoke. It is the smoke that will remain and cause damage and sometimes even the death of a marriage, even after the fire has been extinguished.
Encouragement: During the fires that will come, don't forget about the smoke. May our attitude and love for one another be so evident during the fire that there is no residual hurt when the fire is over.
Stay tuned for Part III....
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Never Leave Your Partner - Part 1
As I sat with with my beautiful wife last weekend watching the movie FireProof, for the second time, one theme in particular caught my attention. At the very beginning of the movie, we were presented with the concept that a firefighter never leaves his partner in a fire. Now in some ways this seems intuitive but it is not until you put yourself into the midst of the fire that anyone realizes what they would do. Think about it, you are in the middle of a raging house fire. Flames are surrounding you on every side, the noise is deafening as wood is popping and snapping and darkness is all you can see for the thick black smoke. The heat is intense, unlike anything you have ever felt and it seems that your skin is beginning to melt and you are having difficulty breathing. Suddenly, to your left you see a small light, a way out, but your partner is out ahead or even worse is hurt and in trouble. Do you leave your partner and head for the perceived way out or stay with your partner and try to get out of it together?
How many marriages are ended because of the intensity of the circumstances? How many people walk out thinking it will be better for both of them or that there is no other way out? Over the next few blogs I want to discuss this analogy to help us all remember that love is a decision, not a feeling. One that is made daily regardless of the circumstances or intensity of the fire. Is it always easy? We all know the answer to that.
How many marriages are ended because of the intensity of the circumstances? How many people walk out thinking it will be better for both of them or that there is no other way out? Over the next few blogs I want to discuss this analogy to help us all remember that love is a decision, not a feeling. One that is made daily regardless of the circumstances or intensity of the fire. Is it always easy? We all know the answer to that.
Monday, February 2, 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!
Okay, I am writing this in retrospect of my 37th birthday. Since my birthday is over and I have seen many of you, I feel it is fine to now write about it. If you have not wished me a happy birthday yet, you are not off the hook. I know who you are and will not forget. You can just add it to your calendars for next year, January 29th.
Anyway, some reminded me that I am still just a baby, although I am not so sure about that. I can remember in my early 20's when 30 seemed old and 40 was just plain ancient. Well, now I am a lot closer to ancient than old. In reality, I am not the type of person that gets too worked up over my age. I am truly blessed with good health, a great family, good friends, a job that I enjoy, and a church that I love to worship and serve with. So all in all I am blessed. But for those of you who sit in my class and are too young to remember the 80's, let me fill you in on a few things to look forward to.
1. Decreased Metabolism - laugh all you can now, but your day is soon coming. (Okay, except for you Andrea. I am not sure that your day will ever come.)
2. Increased Pain - Why do things ache just because I wake up? All I did was sleep.
3. Lack of Energy - I am tired just from typing this.
4. Decreased Memory - What was I saying?
5. Increased Appreciation - How can anyone be more blessed than me? All those things that you used to take for granted, you now appreciate a little more.
For those who see me as a baby, you can add to the list. For the others who have no clue what a "Members Only" jacket is, much less owned one, just read and wait.
Anyway, some reminded me that I am still just a baby, although I am not so sure about that. I can remember in my early 20's when 30 seemed old and 40 was just plain ancient. Well, now I am a lot closer to ancient than old. In reality, I am not the type of person that gets too worked up over my age. I am truly blessed with good health, a great family, good friends, a job that I enjoy, and a church that I love to worship and serve with. So all in all I am blessed. But for those of you who sit in my class and are too young to remember the 80's, let me fill you in on a few things to look forward to.
1. Decreased Metabolism - laugh all you can now, but your day is soon coming. (Okay, except for you Andrea. I am not sure that your day will ever come.)
2. Increased Pain - Why do things ache just because I wake up? All I did was sleep.
3. Lack of Energy - I am tired just from typing this.
4. Decreased Memory - What was I saying?
5. Increased Appreciation - How can anyone be more blessed than me? All those things that you used to take for granted, you now appreciate a little more.
For those who see me as a baby, you can add to the list. For the others who have no clue what a "Members Only" jacket is, much less owned one, just read and wait.
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