Are you a dreamer? If you are not sure, let me ask you a few questions. Do you ever find yourself thinking about the future when others are talking about the present? Can you picture what your house will look like in 5 years (down to the paint color)? Do you get strange looks from others when you talk about the future?
If so, you are a dreamer, or as I prefer to call it a visionary. What is so wrong with dreaming big? Are we afraid of failure? afraid of success? overcome by the present? or consumed by the cynics?
I think many times we tend to forget that the God we serve is a big God and has done a lot of big things. Just as a reminder, He parted the Red Sea, caused a city to collapse at the vibration of footsteps and trumpets, fed 5,000+ people with a boy's lunch, and rose again after being dead 3 days. Why do we think He will only do small things in our lives and churches?
As we think about the future of our ABF, church, ministry, and families, let me encourage you to Dream Big, Pray Big, and live in faith anticipating big things from a BIG God.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
A Week of My Dreams!!
Someone pinch me, I must be dreaming. At least this is the way I felt last week. There are many things you dream of in your life, but I never thought I would cram them all in a couple weeks.
It all started with the trip to Europe with my wife. Okay, okay, I have already talked about this so I will not go on and rub it in. So then, Monday, April 6th we returned home. Even with the delays, I arrived in my front door in time to give Mackenzie a great big hug and kiss just as the ball was being tipped. You guessed, the NCAA Men's National Basketball Championship game. With my head still in a fog, I watched as my Heels dominated for their 5th national championship.
As if this wasn't good enough, Tuesday after work I drove to Augusta, GA. For those who don't know, this is the home of The Masters. This is the most prestigious golf tournament and one I had only dreamed of attending since I was little. And here I was, driving to Augusta to enjoy an all expenses paid trip to see the Masters on Thursday and Friday. Since many of you may not be as big of a golf fanatic as I am, I will only say that the experience was unbelievable and as wonderful as I had imagined.
As I drove home on Friday night, there was no way to get the smile off of my face. I was exhausted, still jet-lagged, and could only reflect on the week I had just experienced. A trip to Europe, Tarheels National Champs, The Masters; I couldn't help but pause, look up and say thank you. Aren't you glad we serve a God who not only blesses us far above what we need, but at times gives us a week of our dreams. "Oh how He loves you and me."
It all started with the trip to Europe with my wife. Okay, okay, I have already talked about this so I will not go on and rub it in. So then, Monday, April 6th we returned home. Even with the delays, I arrived in my front door in time to give Mackenzie a great big hug and kiss just as the ball was being tipped. You guessed, the NCAA Men's National Basketball Championship game. With my head still in a fog, I watched as my Heels dominated for their 5th national championship.
As if this wasn't good enough, Tuesday after work I drove to Augusta, GA. For those who don't know, this is the home of The Masters. This is the most prestigious golf tournament and one I had only dreamed of attending since I was little. And here I was, driving to Augusta to enjoy an all expenses paid trip to see the Masters on Thursday and Friday. Since many of you may not be as big of a golf fanatic as I am, I will only say that the experience was unbelievable and as wonderful as I had imagined.
As I drove home on Friday night, there was no way to get the smile off of my face. I was exhausted, still jet-lagged, and could only reflect on the week I had just experienced. A trip to Europe, Tarheels National Champs, The Masters; I couldn't help but pause, look up and say thank you. Aren't you glad we serve a God who not only blesses us far above what we need, but at times gives us a week of our dreams. "Oh how He loves you and me."
Monday, April 6, 2009
Traveling is Great, When You Think About It
As most of you know, I have been traveling quite a bit this year. I have been to Las Vegas, Mexico, Netherlands, and Paris. During this time I have learned valuable lessons. Lesson one, when things go smooth they are great, when they don't you just wait and wait and wait and wait. I have traveled by plane and have figured out that only idiots travel through Newark. I have learned that it is difficult to figure out the schedule and tracks for European trains if you do not do it frequently. By the end of the trip we were pros, but at the beginning, we had a few challenges. I have learned that sometimes paying for a shuttle or taxi may be the more expensive approach, but much of the time it will prove worth it. Just bite the bullet, fork over the cash, and relax.
And finally, I have learned that traveling with my spouse is much better than alone. No lonely dinners and quiet hotel rooms. Those were traded for romantic meals in the cafes in Paris, taking in the scenery from the top of the Eiffel Tower, enjoying a romantic river cruise in a glass boat while viewing the lights of the city, seeing the Mona Lisa... All of these are memories that as a couple, we will never forget. While the negative things can overwhelm and cloud our thinking at the time, it is then we need to pause and reflect on how good we have it.
What a great life lesson!!!
And finally, I have learned that traveling with my spouse is much better than alone. No lonely dinners and quiet hotel rooms. Those were traded for romantic meals in the cafes in Paris, taking in the scenery from the top of the Eiffel Tower, enjoying a romantic river cruise in a glass boat while viewing the lights of the city, seeing the Mona Lisa... All of these are memories that as a couple, we will never forget. While the negative things can overwhelm and cloud our thinking at the time, it is then we need to pause and reflect on how good we have it.
What a great life lesson!!!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Never Leave Your Partner - Part III
Last time we talked about smoke and the role it plays. Today, I want you to think about the partner's role in reading the smoke. Okay, I know that some of you may struggle reading a good book, much less smoke, but let me explain.
As a firefighter approaches a burning building, one of the things that they are trained to do is read the smoke. The smoke can tell them the location of the fire, size of the fire, and most importantly what the fire will do next. By reading the smoke they have a better understanding of how best to fight the fire.
Hopefully, you can already see the analogy. As a partner in this thing called marriage, we should try to become proficient at reading the smoke. In our relationships, there will be fires from time to time. How will you know? Read the smoke. What do I mean by smoke? Well, those are the reactions, harsh words or none at all, attitudes, hurt feelings and mannerisms. You see if the smoke is light in color and thin you would handle that much differently than if the smoke is dense and rolling.
Become proficient at reading your spouse's smoke. It will be valuable in keeping away the roaring inferno.
As a firefighter approaches a burning building, one of the things that they are trained to do is read the smoke. The smoke can tell them the location of the fire, size of the fire, and most importantly what the fire will do next. By reading the smoke they have a better understanding of how best to fight the fire.
Hopefully, you can already see the analogy. As a partner in this thing called marriage, we should try to become proficient at reading the smoke. In our relationships, there will be fires from time to time. How will you know? Read the smoke. What do I mean by smoke? Well, those are the reactions, harsh words or none at all, attitudes, hurt feelings and mannerisms. You see if the smoke is light in color and thin you would handle that much differently than if the smoke is dense and rolling.
Become proficient at reading your spouse's smoke. It will be valuable in keeping away the roaring inferno.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Never Leave Your Partner - Part II
Okay, I know that I promised part II and some of you have been waiting eagerly. Actually, I was out of town on business in Mexico City. Let me just say that I will never complain about the traffic again. Unbelievable!! I am sure that the first part to wear out on the cars in Mexico City is the horn.
Anyway, I will continue with part II. Based on my research, the number one cause of death related to fires is smoke inhalation. An estimated 50%-80% of fire deaths are the result of smoke inhalation injuries rather than burns. You may ask so what. Well think about it. You and your partner are called on the scene of a fire. You enter the burning building due to the fire, not the smoke, with a goal to put out the fire. Yet almost 80% of the time the fire is not the most deadly element.
So how does this relate to your marriage? I am glad you asked. Many times marriages go through very difficult times. Times that are intense with flames that seem to be hotter than you think you can stand. It is during this time that we focus on putting out the flame and forget about the deadly by-product. What we say and how we treat one another during that time is not the fire but it is the smoke. It is the smoke that will remain and cause damage and sometimes even the death of a marriage, even after the fire has been extinguished.
Encouragement: During the fires that will come, don't forget about the smoke. May our attitude and love for one another be so evident during the fire that there is no residual hurt when the fire is over.
Stay tuned for Part III....
Anyway, I will continue with part II. Based on my research, the number one cause of death related to fires is smoke inhalation. An estimated 50%-80% of fire deaths are the result of smoke inhalation injuries rather than burns. You may ask so what. Well think about it. You and your partner are called on the scene of a fire. You enter the burning building due to the fire, not the smoke, with a goal to put out the fire. Yet almost 80% of the time the fire is not the most deadly element.
So how does this relate to your marriage? I am glad you asked. Many times marriages go through very difficult times. Times that are intense with flames that seem to be hotter than you think you can stand. It is during this time that we focus on putting out the flame and forget about the deadly by-product. What we say and how we treat one another during that time is not the fire but it is the smoke. It is the smoke that will remain and cause damage and sometimes even the death of a marriage, even after the fire has been extinguished.
Encouragement: During the fires that will come, don't forget about the smoke. May our attitude and love for one another be so evident during the fire that there is no residual hurt when the fire is over.
Stay tuned for Part III....
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Never Leave Your Partner - Part 1
As I sat with with my beautiful wife last weekend watching the movie FireProof, for the second time, one theme in particular caught my attention. At the very beginning of the movie, we were presented with the concept that a firefighter never leaves his partner in a fire. Now in some ways this seems intuitive but it is not until you put yourself into the midst of the fire that anyone realizes what they would do. Think about it, you are in the middle of a raging house fire. Flames are surrounding you on every side, the noise is deafening as wood is popping and snapping and darkness is all you can see for the thick black smoke. The heat is intense, unlike anything you have ever felt and it seems that your skin is beginning to melt and you are having difficulty breathing. Suddenly, to your left you see a small light, a way out, but your partner is out ahead or even worse is hurt and in trouble. Do you leave your partner and head for the perceived way out or stay with your partner and try to get out of it together?
How many marriages are ended because of the intensity of the circumstances? How many people walk out thinking it will be better for both of them or that there is no other way out? Over the next few blogs I want to discuss this analogy to help us all remember that love is a decision, not a feeling. One that is made daily regardless of the circumstances or intensity of the fire. Is it always easy? We all know the answer to that.
How many marriages are ended because of the intensity of the circumstances? How many people walk out thinking it will be better for both of them or that there is no other way out? Over the next few blogs I want to discuss this analogy to help us all remember that love is a decision, not a feeling. One that is made daily regardless of the circumstances or intensity of the fire. Is it always easy? We all know the answer to that.
Monday, February 2, 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!
Okay, I am writing this in retrospect of my 37th birthday. Since my birthday is over and I have seen many of you, I feel it is fine to now write about it. If you have not wished me a happy birthday yet, you are not off the hook. I know who you are and will not forget. You can just add it to your calendars for next year, January 29th.
Anyway, some reminded me that I am still just a baby, although I am not so sure about that. I can remember in my early 20's when 30 seemed old and 40 was just plain ancient. Well, now I am a lot closer to ancient than old. In reality, I am not the type of person that gets too worked up over my age. I am truly blessed with good health, a great family, good friends, a job that I enjoy, and a church that I love to worship and serve with. So all in all I am blessed. But for those of you who sit in my class and are too young to remember the 80's, let me fill you in on a few things to look forward to.
1. Decreased Metabolism - laugh all you can now, but your day is soon coming. (Okay, except for you Andrea. I am not sure that your day will ever come.)
2. Increased Pain - Why do things ache just because I wake up? All I did was sleep.
3. Lack of Energy - I am tired just from typing this.
4. Decreased Memory - What was I saying?
5. Increased Appreciation - How can anyone be more blessed than me? All those things that you used to take for granted, you now appreciate a little more.
For those who see me as a baby, you can add to the list. For the others who have no clue what a "Members Only" jacket is, much less owned one, just read and wait.
Anyway, some reminded me that I am still just a baby, although I am not so sure about that. I can remember in my early 20's when 30 seemed old and 40 was just plain ancient. Well, now I am a lot closer to ancient than old. In reality, I am not the type of person that gets too worked up over my age. I am truly blessed with good health, a great family, good friends, a job that I enjoy, and a church that I love to worship and serve with. So all in all I am blessed. But for those of you who sit in my class and are too young to remember the 80's, let me fill you in on a few things to look forward to.
1. Decreased Metabolism - laugh all you can now, but your day is soon coming. (Okay, except for you Andrea. I am not sure that your day will ever come.)
2. Increased Pain - Why do things ache just because I wake up? All I did was sleep.
3. Lack of Energy - I am tired just from typing this.
4. Decreased Memory - What was I saying?
5. Increased Appreciation - How can anyone be more blessed than me? All those things that you used to take for granted, you now appreciate a little more.
For those who see me as a baby, you can add to the list. For the others who have no clue what a "Members Only" jacket is, much less owned one, just read and wait.
Monday, January 26, 2009
He Still Amazes Me
Today has been one of reflection, remembering, and rejoicing. Last week I had to go on a business trip to Las Vegas. For those of you who have never been to Vegas, let me just say they do not call it "Sin City" for nothing. To be honest, I came back somewhat discouraged after spending the week surrounded by those living for the pleasures of today and trying everything to satisfy. The evening service was just the dose of encouragement that I needed.
For those not in attendance, last night we had our service celebrating the sanctity of human life. At that service, Jennifer from Salem Pregnancy spoke and gave her testimony. For all her heard, her testimony was powerful and moving, but for me, it was more. You see, Jennifer and I were great friends in high school. Last night my mind went back to the many talks we had, the ballgames, and well just hanging out and being friends. I remember how that friendship abruptly ended at age 16 due to her becoming pregnant. Despite all that was going on in her life, Jennifer was always my friend. My mind went back to times that I prayed for her and wondered in my mind how she was doing. As she gave her testimony last night and spoke of how God had transformed her life and equipped her to minister to others going through a crisis pregnancy, I sat with tears and amazement. Not at how she could be doing what she is doing, but how and why God chooses to use us. Jennifer is the first to tell you that the choices she made were not God's will, but in His sovereign will, He uses us anyway. You see my sins are no different than hers, they were just not as visible to all. It takes the same grace to use me as it does her.
So today I am rejoicing. Rejoicing over the grace of God in my life and that of a friend. Rejoicing in the renewal of a friendship that for 20+ years had been absent. And more than anything, rejoicing in the reminder that in my return from "Sin City" God still is in the saving and restoring business. He gives us just what we need, when we need it. He still amazes me.
For those not in attendance, last night we had our service celebrating the sanctity of human life. At that service, Jennifer from Salem Pregnancy spoke and gave her testimony. For all her heard, her testimony was powerful and moving, but for me, it was more. You see, Jennifer and I were great friends in high school. Last night my mind went back to the many talks we had, the ballgames, and well just hanging out and being friends. I remember how that friendship abruptly ended at age 16 due to her becoming pregnant. Despite all that was going on in her life, Jennifer was always my friend. My mind went back to times that I prayed for her and wondered in my mind how she was doing. As she gave her testimony last night and spoke of how God had transformed her life and equipped her to minister to others going through a crisis pregnancy, I sat with tears and amazement. Not at how she could be doing what she is doing, but how and why God chooses to use us. Jennifer is the first to tell you that the choices she made were not God's will, but in His sovereign will, He uses us anyway. You see my sins are no different than hers, they were just not as visible to all. It takes the same grace to use me as it does her.
So today I am rejoicing. Rejoicing over the grace of God in my life and that of a friend. Rejoicing in the renewal of a friendship that for 20+ years had been absent. And more than anything, rejoicing in the reminder that in my return from "Sin City" God still is in the saving and restoring business. He gives us just what we need, when we need it. He still amazes me.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Meet Bo Bo!!
Well, I wanted to introduce everyone to the newest member of the family, Bo Bo Bowman. As I mentioned before, Bo Bo is a Lhasa Apsa born in Chattanooga, TN. He has been a lot of fun. He has reminded me of my need for patience. I have also realized that he and I had a power struggle. He was obviously the leader of the puppy pack and tried to exert himself as the leader of the Bowman household as well. As cute as he is, I was determined that he was going to find his place in the family, and that place was not lead dog. Anyway, he is now house trained and is ringing his bell to go outside and has also been sleeping through the night (Praise the Lord!!)
The best thing about Bo Bo is seeing Mackenzie interact with him. He can have an attitude at times but when it comes to her, he will let her do anything. She carries him around like a baby and pushes him in the baby carriage. I think they are going to be best buds for a while. She is a little Mommy!! Well, if anyone enjoys dog sitting just let me know.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Back to the Grind
Well, I don't know about you, but the transition between Christmas and New Year's and the starting of a new year is tough. Yes, I am full of optimism about the new year and excited about what the Lord has in store, but somehow the batteries take a little bit longer to recharge. This year has been even tougher. We introduced a new member to the family over the holidays, Bo Bo Bowman. Bo Bo is a Lhasa Apso puppy that Mackenzie received for Christmas. He was 7 weeks old when we got him. I had forgotten the joys of housebreaking a puppy and getting up in the night multiple times to let him out. Anyway, he has been well worth it and I will do a formal introduction with pictures in my next blog.
I finally feel like I am getting back into the swing of work, home, church, etc... I know I have been delinquent in blogging but now you know why and I will try to do better. I was going to blog about my goals for 2009, but then I read my sister-in-law's blog with her goals and felt a little embarrassed. Good luck Tammy. I will be anticipating your results. For now, I just want to be a better husband, Dad, teacher (do not say Amen!), employee, and servant. I am better with the big picture. So for now I will leave you with a thought. Don't let the grind turn you into something you were never intended for or dilute you from your intended purpose.
I finally feel like I am getting back into the swing of work, home, church, etc... I know I have been delinquent in blogging but now you know why and I will try to do better. I was going to blog about my goals for 2009, but then I read my sister-in-law's blog with her goals and felt a little embarrassed. Good luck Tammy. I will be anticipating your results. For now, I just want to be a better husband, Dad, teacher (do not say Amen!), employee, and servant. I am better with the big picture. So for now I will leave you with a thought. Don't let the grind turn you into something you were never intended for or dilute you from your intended purpose.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Christmas Traditions!!
I am sure you all can remember back when you were a child. Do you remember going to get your tree, decorating it, making cookies and fudge, and Christmas morning? Whether you were excited about Santa or old enough to just anticipate what you were going to open the next morning, Christmas Eve was always a great night.
I can remember going to my PaPaw's house every Christmas Eve. We would celebrated as a family and sing songs and open presents. Then right as it was time to go, we would turn on the TV to see the Santa report. We had to find out where he had been tracked on the radar and how long we had to get home and in the bed. I remember tossing and turning in the bed as a boy and telling my brother to be quiet so I could listen for Santa. The tradition at our house was (and still is) that Christmas morning was started with the "Hallelujah Chorus." This was played as loud as the stereo would go and was our sign that we could come out of our room and to the Christmas tree. When we heard it, the door flew open and we took off.
It is fun to think back and recall those special memories. I hope all of you spend time with your families this week. I pray that in all of the traditions and joy of giving and receiving that we all take time to remember the true reason for Christmas. "For unto us a child is born. Unto us, a Son is given."
I can remember going to my PaPaw's house every Christmas Eve. We would celebrated as a family and sing songs and open presents. Then right as it was time to go, we would turn on the TV to see the Santa report. We had to find out where he had been tracked on the radar and how long we had to get home and in the bed. I remember tossing and turning in the bed as a boy and telling my brother to be quiet so I could listen for Santa. The tradition at our house was (and still is) that Christmas morning was started with the "Hallelujah Chorus." This was played as loud as the stereo would go and was our sign that we could come out of our room and to the Christmas tree. When we heard it, the door flew open and we took off.
It is fun to think back and recall those special memories. I hope all of you spend time with your families this week. I pray that in all of the traditions and joy of giving and receiving that we all take time to remember the true reason for Christmas. "For unto us a child is born. Unto us, a Son is given."
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Are You Making a List and Checking it Twice??
Okay this blog is not going to be about Christmas and Santa although I thought the title was appropriate. This is about a different kind of list. As we have been studying about parenting and disciplining our kids, I was struck by the fact that so many times we get frustated by the moment. It could be our pride, anger, or just total bewilderment but in the discipline moment we tend to forget the ultimate goal of directing them to the understanding that they have sinned against God and that they need to be reconciled to Him. In that moment, we tend to forget that the scriptures are "profitable for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness." So here is my idea, why not start a sin list? This would be a simple list that has the sin (e.g. lying) with verses that you can refer to as you talk to them about the sin and what God says about it. While you have sent them to their room prior to the punishment and they are waiting and you are cooling down, you can refer to your sin list. How would your kids feel if Mommy or Daddy came to the discipline session with not just the paddle but the Bible?
Here are some passages that may help you start your own sin list:
· Ephesians 5:3-7
· James 3:13-18
· James 4:1
· James 4:4
· Ephesians 4:29
How about letting this season inspire us to make our own list, however, I bet we will have to check it more than twice.
Here are some passages that may help you start your own sin list:
· Ephesians 5:3-7
· James 3:13-18
· James 4:1
· James 4:4
· Ephesians 4:29
How about letting this season inspire us to make our own list, however, I bet we will have to check it more than twice.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Turkey On Fire!!
Well, it has been a while since I have had the chance to write. I took the week of Thanksgiving off thinking this would give me all kinds of time to relax and get caught up on things. It never quite works out that way.
This holiday was fun for me. We had my family over to our house to celebrate Thanksgiving. Shay had found a new recipe for the turkey and ask me to cook it on the grill. Despite my reluctance of putting the traditional meat and main dish on my shoulders, I bravely accepted. We thought about doing a trial run before the big day but decided to wing it. The turkey breasts (no one in my family likes the dark meat) were thawed and marinated the night before and now it was time. It began simple enough and since you have to grill it with the lid shut, I was periodically peeking and all was well. Then from the kitchen window Shay spotted flames and quickly notified me. I opened the grill to find flaming turkeys. As I removed them from the heat and beat them against the grill surface to put the flames out my mind was thinking, where can I get meat at 2 o'clock on Thanksgiving day. All was not lost however, I lowered the heat put them back on the grill and let them continue to cook not sure how they would turn out. When they were done, the charred skin peeled off like a coat and the juices had been locked inside giving the turkey a very juicy good flavor.
What a memory and it made for fun dinner conversation. What did I learn, besides the netting may survive an oven but not a grill? Well I was reminded that it is not about the quality of the food (even though it was great), but the blessings of the family and friends that God has placed in our lives. May we not just say thank-you once a year but demonstrate it every day to those we call our family and friends.
Blessed are those that can give without remembering and receive without forgetting.-- Author Unknown
This holiday was fun for me. We had my family over to our house to celebrate Thanksgiving. Shay had found a new recipe for the turkey and ask me to cook it on the grill. Despite my reluctance of putting the traditional meat and main dish on my shoulders, I bravely accepted. We thought about doing a trial run before the big day but decided to wing it. The turkey breasts (no one in my family likes the dark meat) were thawed and marinated the night before and now it was time. It began simple enough and since you have to grill it with the lid shut, I was periodically peeking and all was well. Then from the kitchen window Shay spotted flames and quickly notified me. I opened the grill to find flaming turkeys. As I removed them from the heat and beat them against the grill surface to put the flames out my mind was thinking, where can I get meat at 2 o'clock on Thanksgiving day. All was not lost however, I lowered the heat put them back on the grill and let them continue to cook not sure how they would turn out. When they were done, the charred skin peeled off like a coat and the juices had been locked inside giving the turkey a very juicy good flavor.
What a memory and it made for fun dinner conversation. What did I learn, besides the netting may survive an oven but not a grill? Well I was reminded that it is not about the quality of the food (even though it was great), but the blessings of the family and friends that God has placed in our lives. May we not just say thank-you once a year but demonstrate it every day to those we call our family and friends.
Blessed are those that can give without remembering and receive without forgetting.-- Author Unknown
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Do We Talk Too Much??
Okay, I have never been one that has been accused of talking too much. Usually my wife says I don't talk enough. I am pretty good at answering a question with a direct answer, but am working hard on expounding for my wife to get to the details. For instance, if I am asked "How was work today?" I am fine with the answer - "good." I am learning that the real heart of the question is, "Will you tell me about what happened to you at work today since I have been by myself all day and need adult conversation?"
However, when it comes to disciplining, I have found that I do way more talking than listening. I could relate to the illustration in this week's lesson of the son saying, "Dad, we really didn't have a good talk, because I didn't say anything." Sometimes we feel that we have accomplished something and all we have done is vent to our kids. As parents, many times we are guilty of the extremes when it comes to discipline. Either we react out of anger and discipline right away without communicating at all or we lecture about the issue and accomplish nothing except making ourselves feel better.
I look at parents of teenagers who talk freely and openly with their kids and there is a mutual love and respect. They do not have that relationship because of a lack of discipline but because discipline was always combined with two-way communication. That means asking the right questions and letting them tell me what is in their heart. How else as a parent will I know how to guide the heart?
So, do you talk too much? For all of you parents of children under 3, practice now with the multiple choice questions. Once they have that full vocabulary and can talk back and talk back and talk back, you will wish you had not been so reactive but proactive.
However, when it comes to disciplining, I have found that I do way more talking than listening. I could relate to the illustration in this week's lesson of the son saying, "Dad, we really didn't have a good talk, because I didn't say anything." Sometimes we feel that we have accomplished something and all we have done is vent to our kids. As parents, many times we are guilty of the extremes when it comes to discipline. Either we react out of anger and discipline right away without communicating at all or we lecture about the issue and accomplish nothing except making ourselves feel better.
I look at parents of teenagers who talk freely and openly with their kids and there is a mutual love and respect. They do not have that relationship because of a lack of discipline but because discipline was always combined with two-way communication. That means asking the right questions and letting them tell me what is in their heart. How else as a parent will I know how to guide the heart?
So, do you talk too much? For all of you parents of children under 3, practice now with the multiple choice questions. Once they have that full vocabulary and can talk back and talk back and talk back, you will wish you had not been so reactive but proactive.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Football, Parenting & Life
Okay, I know what some may be thinking, "Football!! I hear enough about this from my husband and I don't care." Well, hear me out anyway. Last night was Monday night football, San Francisco 49ers vs. Arizona Cardinals. As a fan of neither, I was watching the game because, well, because it is football and that is what we men do (Arr, Arr, Arr). Anyway, I digress, the game was a back and forth game and came down to the last play. Arizona has the lead by 5 points and the 49ers have the ball on the 2 yard line. The whole game comes down to this play. If they stop them from scoring, Arizona wins the game. The play was called and the 49ers ran the football up the middle to try to score. The Cardinals' defense surged ahead to stop the ball just short of the goal line to win the game.
As I read the final outcome this morning (since I went to bed before it finished), I was reminded of some things I heard Sunday during our group discussion. This parenting thing is tough and as hard as we try sometimes it feels as if we are failing. Sure, we have little successes that give us encouragement, but a lot of times, all we see and hear are the issues. (Insert name) has been ... And sometimes it gets to the point where you feel like a failure.
Let me encourage you to stand on the line and defend the end zone for your kids. I know it seems at times as if you have been playing the game forever and you are tired and weak. Keep defending the line. Keep directing the hearts of your kids to the Lord. So much more than the outcome of a game depends on it. This may be the time when you begin to see real change, not in just behavior, but in the heart.
"Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another." - Walter Elliott
As I read the final outcome this morning (since I went to bed before it finished), I was reminded of some things I heard Sunday during our group discussion. This parenting thing is tough and as hard as we try sometimes it feels as if we are failing. Sure, we have little successes that give us encouragement, but a lot of times, all we see and hear are the issues. (Insert name) has been ... And sometimes it gets to the point where you feel like a failure.
Let me encourage you to stand on the line and defend the end zone for your kids. I know it seems at times as if you have been playing the game forever and you are tired and weak. Keep defending the line. Keep directing the hearts of your kids to the Lord. So much more than the outcome of a game depends on it. This may be the time when you begin to see real change, not in just behavior, but in the heart.
"Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another." - Walter Elliott
Saturday, November 8, 2008
To Link or Not To Link???
Many of you may see that I have removed all of the blog links from this blog that are not a part of Union Grove Baptist Church & School. I am doing this for a couple of reasons.
First of all, this blog is designed for UGBC Homebuilders to communicate with each other and an avenue for me to communicate with you. It represents our ABF and church.
Secondly, I am not able to, nor do I want to police the other blogs to determine if the content appropriately represents UGBC. This is not meant to be a chastisement toward anyone's blog. I would, however, encourage you all to think about what you are writing and remember Who we represent. Many times we say things in print that we would never speak out loud.
I would also encourage you to pray before you publish your posts. You never know who might be reading them and your words should never hurt the name of Christ. We are not to be of the world, but we are in the world and are called to be salt and light.
Thanks for your understanding and happy blogging.
First of all, this blog is designed for UGBC Homebuilders to communicate with each other and an avenue for me to communicate with you. It represents our ABF and church.
Secondly, I am not able to, nor do I want to police the other blogs to determine if the content appropriately represents UGBC. This is not meant to be a chastisement toward anyone's blog. I would, however, encourage you all to think about what you are writing and remember Who we represent. Many times we say things in print that we would never speak out loud.
I would also encourage you to pray before you publish your posts. You never know who might be reading them and your words should never hurt the name of Christ. We are not to be of the world, but we are in the world and are called to be salt and light.
Thanks for your understanding and happy blogging.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Thought For The Week - Voting Values
"It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are." -- Roy Disney
Well today is election day and I hope all of you have exercised your God given privilege to vote. This has been the most passionate election that I can remember. There seems to be no neutral parties. It is not that the candidates have such charisma and personality, but there followers are entrenched and passionate. This has even been a topic in the 1st Grade classroom and Mackenzie has come with questions. What a great opportunity to discuss values and why we choose one person over another. Because of this, Shay and I decided to take her with us and vote together as a family this morning. Mackenzie was able to walk through the process and help her Daddy vote for the first time. While she may only remember getting to touch the screen, I hope she always remembers the values that caused her to push the buttons that she pushed. May it never be about Republican or Democrat but about values. I think that the quote above holds a lot of truth. When you have a solid value system, it makes tough decisions easier. We can cut through the gray that seems to surround so many decisions. This challenges you and I as to what is our value system and is it Biblically based. If you are not sure think about this, how did you decide who to vote for? Was it the economy, health care, taxes, or was it something else?
Well today is election day and I hope all of you have exercised your God given privilege to vote. This has been the most passionate election that I can remember. There seems to be no neutral parties. It is not that the candidates have such charisma and personality, but there followers are entrenched and passionate. This has even been a topic in the 1st Grade classroom and Mackenzie has come with questions. What a great opportunity to discuss values and why we choose one person over another. Because of this, Shay and I decided to take her with us and vote together as a family this morning. Mackenzie was able to walk through the process and help her Daddy vote for the first time. While she may only remember getting to touch the screen, I hope she always remembers the values that caused her to push the buttons that she pushed. May it never be about Republican or Democrat but about values. I think that the quote above holds a lot of truth. When you have a solid value system, it makes tough decisions easier. We can cut through the gray that seems to surround so many decisions. This challenges you and I as to what is our value system and is it Biblically based. If you are not sure think about this, how did you decide who to vote for? Was it the economy, health care, taxes, or was it something else?
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wee Wittle Worshippers
What a great reminder we had last Sunday about the influences that shape our kids. When we see our kids throwing food at the table or fighting with their brothers & sisters it is difficult to think of them as little worshippers. They were created by God for worship and they will worship, either God or idols. How many times are we as parents guilty of putting those idols in front of our kids? Oh, we don't think of them in that way, but how much time do we spend emphasizing sports, grades, music, or other things. While in and of themselves they are not bad, yet our emphasis places them as an item of worship for our kids. Some of our kids may be young, but even then they are watching us. When Mackenzie was little someone once told me to watch how she disciplines her dolls and stuffed animals as it will be a direct reflection of how we were disciplining her. What an eye opener to see it in action and hear her repeating to the doll the words and tone that had come out of my mouth. How convicting to think that these little worshippers are watching us and seeing what we worship by what we spend our time doing. May we as parents all realize the influences from the outside that are trying to mold our kids are more numerous and stronger than ever before. They seem to bombard us earlier than we expect. They can come from things as seemingly harmless as cartoons or the Disney channel. If we don't shape how are kids think and act they will. May we strive to daily point our little worshippers Godward to a relationship with Him.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Thought For The Week - Jesus and the Burglar
This week I was reminded in a humorous way of a point that we often overlook. We try to teach the principle to our kids, but how many of us go day in and day out and forget the fact that God is everywhere and sees all things. It may change how we live this week.
"A burglar broke into a house and shined his flashlight around looking for valuables. He picked up a CD player when a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying: 'Jesus is watching you.' He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked off his flashlightand froze. When he heard nothing more he continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out he heard: 'Jesus is watching you,' Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically. Finally, in the corner of the room his light beam came to rest on a parrot. 'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot. 'Yep,' the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you,' The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?' 'Moses,' replied the bird. 'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?' 'The kind that would name a rottweiler Jesus."
"A burglar broke into a house and shined his flashlight around looking for valuables. He picked up a CD player when a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying: 'Jesus is watching you.' He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked off his flashlightand froze. When he heard nothing more he continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out he heard: 'Jesus is watching you,' Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically. Finally, in the corner of the room his light beam came to rest on a parrot. 'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot. 'Yep,' the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you,' The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?' 'Moses,' replied the bird. 'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?' 'The kind that would name a rottweiler Jesus."
Monday, October 27, 2008
Food, Fun & Fellowship
First of all, thanks to all of you who went to eat with us last night at Luigi's after church. The food and service were very good but the fellowship was better. I learned several new things last night. For instance did you know that Andrea is leaning to shift her vote for the pro-cloning ticket (Brian and I strongly oppose), or that Claire can make Pastor sweat, or that Tim is a peanut farmer. Amazing stuff!! Thanks to Stephanie for coordinating it and to the Spach's who supervised the "kiddie" end of the table. You did such a great job, we are thinking of giving you the official title of "Kiddie Table Coordinators." Just kidding, next time we will try to share the joy with some of the couples who have yet to experience the fun of taking multiple kids out to eat after there normal bedtime. We will definitely try to schedule another after church fellowship for November. Some of you who are creative need to help us come up with a good name for this. The best I have been able to come up with so far is "FACE - fun after church excursions or GRASS - growing relationships after Sunday service." Anyway, let's see if we can come up with an orignal, fun way to identify this activity. For all those that couldn't make it, hope to see you next time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)